I had a customer a few years back who purchased a product with a debit, was unhappy with it and wanted to return it. There was a missing piece and we tried very hard to find a replacement part. I only spoke to the husband. He told me, I think you will only want to talk to me, and kept me from speaking to the wife. We can’t do a refund on a debit card so we were going to mail her a refund check. The wife came in and was displeased with our policy and demanded that the staff go to the bank, withdraw money from our personal accounts and pay her the money. Well of course, we can’t do anything like that, and to ask the sales team to do that is a bit unreasonable at best.
There were some threats and the sales team asked me to call her and calm her down. I called and talked to her at great length and explained calmly that we couldn’t just give her our personal money, but the account will cut a check in a day and it will be sent immediately. She seemed satisfied with the answer and thanked me. What I didn’t know was when I called from my personal cellphone, I forgot to block my number and she proceeded to call me. Alot. Borderline hysterical about things that made no sense, and went from angry to calm in the same sentence. I of course talked and listened to her, but by the 5th phone call, I pretty much had enough and proceeded to silence my phone.
The more I thought about her behaviour, the clearer it became that she had postpartum depression. The sales team were a bit put off by her behaviour and when I told them what was happening, I heard “well she should control it” from a few people. But you see, it’s not something you can just snap out of and control. Depression and postpartum are very real and very serious things and they shouldn’t be ignored or brushed off by loved ones.
Postpartum depression is a complex mix of physical, emotional, and behavioral changes that occur after giving birth that are attributed to the chemical, social, and psychological changes associated with having a baby.
I personally suffer from depression. I have been battling it for years. It wasn’t until I started counting the days I hadn’t cried, that I realized that there was a problem. I was lucky, my family doctor took the condition very seriously and I really lucked out because the medication regiment worked spot on from the start.
The hardest part is asking for help. You think you should just snap out of it! You have a healthy baby, you should be happy, you should be supermom! One way of accepting that I had depression was when my doctor explained it to me very plainly. It is a physical ailment with a mental side effect. Sometimes your brain forgets to be happy and forgets to pump out the hormones that make you feel better. Plan and simple.
Postpartum does not just affect moms either. Dad’s can get postpartum also.
Here are some tips that can help prevent, or help you cope with postpartum depression:
- Be realistic about your expectations for yourself and your baby
- Limit visitors when you first go home
- Ask for help — let others know how they can help you
- Sleep or rest when your baby sleeps!
- Exercise; take a walk and get out of the house for a break
- Screen your phone calls
- Follow a sensible diet; avoid alcohol and caffeine
- Keep in touch with your family and friends — do not isolate yourself
- Foster your relationship with your partner — make time for each other
- Expect some good days and some bad days
You should seek professional help when:
- Symptoms persist beyond two weeks
- You are unable to function normally; she can’t cope with everyday situations
- You have thoughts of harming herself or her baby
- You are feeling extremely anxious, scared, and panicked most of the day
Get online, open a phonebook, there are lots of places that can help
One excellent resource I found was online at MDAO. The Mood Disorder Association of Ontario
REMEMBER! You aren’t alone, you are loved and it’s okay to ask for help
